Fuck This West Coast Shit

Mavericks didn't start until 9:50 last night and now Rangers don't start until 9:05 tonight. How am I supposed to be the dedicated DFW sports fan and also function in the morning?

P.S. this jam that came up when I googled "fuck the westside" is actually not too bad. Fuck da west coast. Central time zone till I D.I.E.