Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Dirk Does Wuerzburg, Germany
Dirk continues to get plastered all over the world while the rest of lead boring lives with summer classes, jobs, internships, and heat waves. What I would give to be in Dirk's entourage. Even to be the turtle in the group or the Cardinal in Brian Cardinal's case. Why are the moochers in entourages always named after animals? Fair price to pay. I would accept the name grackle. What is a grackle you might wonder? Grackles are those annoying ass birds outside of walgreens and grocery stores that infest the trees and parking lots and make the most annoying noise in the world and shit huge white blots all over cars.
PS: Who the fuck let the O face guy from Office Space dress up as a Wuerzberg cheerleader?
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Wrestling Is Real Sometimes
Can't tell me it's not. Dude is literally dead on the floor in a gallon of his own vomit. And the guy on the ground doesn't even move out of the way. I don't care how dedicated you are to your back yard wrestling gig. As soon as I see chunks, I'm fucking out KP style. Straight from the wrestling ring to shabooms.
11,000 Floating Lanterns In Poland Seems Like My Kind Of Visual
Jelly fish of the skies man, jelly fish of the skies.
Just Give Me The Boot
How can you call this a rivalry when we demolish the shit out of the Ass-bros almost every time? Total domination. And yes, I took the time to update the Lone Star Series Wikipedia page, because that's the only place I could find the information and I want others to be properly informed of the Ranger's total domination over the Houston Ass-bros. And yes, I just started calling the Ass-tros the Ass-bros. That is what I'm calling them now so get used to it.
C.J. On The Mound Tonight Against The Ass-tros
Granted C.J. is not in a bunt situation, I am reserving my call (homerun) for CJ's first at bat. Why you ask? This past video will speak for itself.
This Slip-N-Slide Is Intense
The Ultimate Slip-N-Slide - Watch more Funny Videos
Anyone have any fireman friends? It's hot and I want to do this shit. That or stay inside with AC turned on 64. You can probably guess which one will happen.
Shia LaBeouf Smanged The Shit Out Of Megan Fox During The Filming Of Transformers
Shia LaBeouf isn't one to hold back what he thinks. He also isn't one to give a damn.
The actor, who stars in the upcoming "Transformers: Dark of the Moon," opens up in the August issue of Details about his tough upbringing, hooking up with his taken leading ladies and being, as the magazine puts it, Hollywood's last bad boy.
During his time working on 2007's "Transformers," the 25-year-old actor reveals he had a fling with former co-star Megan Fox.
"Look, you're on the set for six months, with someone who's rooting to be attracted to you, and you're rooting to be attracted to them," he explains. "I never understood the separation of work and life in that situation. But the time I spent with Megan was our own thing, and I think you can see the chemistry onscreen."
More here.
Leave it to fucking even stevens to stick it to Megan Fox. I wouldn't understand separating work and life either. If I'm acting like I'm banging Megan Fox, I'm with Megan Fox for six months, and staying in trailers and hotels and shit with nothing else to do, I'm going to be banging Megan Fox. Or at least I'm going to be trying to. Personally, I want to see the off screen chemistry. Even if Megan Fox does have toe thumbs.
Real Life Mufasa Throws Out The First Pitch At Padre Game
Maybe you could work that into a pick off, but someone needs to tell Mufasa that that's a fucking balk. Fake pick off to third back to first, maybe. Still impressive though. Even Dirk threw a pitch that would be high on him.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Is There Anything Worse Than The Manning Brothers?
Fuck no. This is why we need the NFL to end all of this lock out bullshit. There is no way I can take a whole football season of Manning brother shenanigans. No way in hell. I will refuse to watch a single damn thing on live tv. I will record everything. I don't want to see any oreo commercials, direct tv commercials, or "football cops." Fuck the Manning brothers. Fuck them long, hard, in the rain, and with a giant dick wrapped in barbed wire.
This Baby Cake Is Fucked Up/Probably Delicious
I've heard of some crazy cakes. Cakes that look like computers, some that look like ipods, or bugs or whatever. But an infant. That's kind of awesome. And for some reason I can't imagine that it's not delicious. Probably one of the best cakes ever. Like the episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry buys the penis cake without realizing it's a penis just because he had tried it when it was cut down into pieces. Just thought it was a good cake, didn't know it was a giant cock.
3 Dudes Sacrifices Thier Dicks For 30 Seconds Of Fame
Cheaper than a vasectomy I guess. Awesome display of real man tears as well. "I think I'm gonna cry dude. Like I think I'm gonna cry for real." Also gotta point out how unfair of a trade off this is. One guy gets kind of a bad wedgie (not even an atomic), the other gets a little pressure on the gooch, and the other breaks a fucking two by four with his dick? I guess home boy didn't understand the physics that were about to go down. Should probably brush up on his shit while they have to surgically reconstruct his dick in the ER.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Animals Are All Over The Internet Today
This video is pretty damn stupid, but I think it might be one of those videos that will blow up. Ya never know.
Deer Terrorizes Church
Why are people diving out of the way like little punk bitches. Tackle the mother fucker or at least stick a leg out and trip it. Boom, beef jerky for everyone. Hallelujah. Praise Jesus.
Mitch Moreland Can Lay Wood
Mitch Moreland's 472-foot homer into the second deck at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington on Monday is tied for the third-longest home run this season and was the fifth long ball to eclipse the 470-foot mark in 2011 (according to ESPN Stats & Information's David Carabello).
A look at the longest homers of 2011 (top 5):
Prince Fielder: April 29, 486 feet
Justin Upton: April 12, 478 feet
Mitch Moreland: Monday, 472 feet
Mark Trumbo: May 30, 472 feet
Ryan Howard: May 13, 470 feet
Leave it to the Asstros to give up one of the top 5 bombs of the year. Big ups to Mitch for the blast. Now let's check out the team leaders.
Monday, June 20, 2011
This Kid Can Drain Some Free Throws
Hopefully this kid had a concussion, because that was absolutely pathetic. The first one was so bad, that I think he broke the audio. Also, if I was on the other team, I'm pretty sure I would intentionally foul the shit out of the kid just to see if he would suck it up again.
Why DeShawn Stevenson Got His Abe Lincoln Tattoo And Other Things You Wanted To Know About DeShawn
DeShawn Stevenson joined 105.3 The Fan in Dallas with Josh, Elf and Arnie to discuss winning the championship, the best and worst parts about being DeShawn Stevenson, his arrest two nights after winning the championship, what he was thinking when all of that went down, how he obtained the "How Does My Dirk Taste?" T-shirt and his Abraham Lincoln tattoo.
When did you truly believe the Mavericks were going to win the championship?:
"I'd say when Jet got that tattoo. I didn't believe it, but when Jet got the tattoo and we was on a roll, we had a lot of starting people coming off the bench - Shawn Marion, he's a starter; Jason Terry, he's a starter; J.J. Barea, he's a starter. We had a lot of people coming off the bench and I just felt we were a powerhouse team."
What's the best thing about being DeShawn Stevenson?:
"I'd say being in Dallas and being with a team that has great fans. Some teams don't have fans like we have. They stuck with us and it's a great thing going out there playing, knowing you've got 20,000 behind your back."
What's the worst part?:
"The toughest part is I get stereotyped by all my tattoos and things like that. If you know me, I'm a great guy."
Do you want to clear up what happened with the quick arrest following winning the championship:
"People don't understand. I was going to a party with all of my friends in an apartment. I left. I'm walking down the street … and I guess because I have tattoos a cop told me to come here, asked me what I was doing. I told him what I was doing and he told me to go by the cop car. I'm thinking that he's going to ask me a couple questions and I'm going to go home. He comes, puts me in handcuffs and I go to jail for four hours. … I asked him what I was going to jail for and he said public intoxication."
Did he give you a Breathalyzer or anything?:
"This is the thing, I asked for it. I asked for the Breathalyzer and he wouldn't give it to me."
What was he thinking as he's sleeping on the floor in jail?:
"I really didn't think about that because I knew I didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes when you get put in bad situations, you think, ‘Why did I do that? Why was I driving drunk? Why did I have this? Why did I have that?' This is like, I'm walking down the street. Sometimes people stereotype you. I've been like that all my life. I think it makes you stronger and understand where you came from."
Where did the "How Does My Dirk Taste?" T-shirt come from?:
"After we won the championship, we was going to the locker room and I saw a guy with a shirt. We had the championship shirts and he wanted it. I said, ‘I'll switch out if you give me that one.' So we switched shirts. I didn't tell nobody I had it. The next day we woke up and I wore it on the plane and to the parade."
What's up with the 5-dollar bill tattoo on his neck?:
"I was going to get Martin Luther King and I told Gilbert Arenas. You should never tell nobody your idea. That summer, he came back and got it. So I didn't know who to get. I got Abraham Lincoln because he freed the slaves. I just had Abraham Lincoln and, from a distance, everybody kept saying, ‘Who is that?' So I put the five-dollar bill so everybody would stop asking me."
Never thought me and DeShawn Stevenson would have so much in common. I knew the Mavericks were going to win when I found out Jason Terry got the Larry tatted up on his arm, cops always stereotype me as publicly intoxicated, and people are always stealing my tattoo ideas.
Tom Grieve Was In The Ramones Music Video For Some Reason
Not really sure why, but Tom Grieve was in the Ramones music video, "Substitute". Not until the 4:00 minute mark, but that's definitely the pinnacle of whatever the hell is going on in this music video. Ginger Bread Man was going no where. Fucking no where.
Rangers VS Astros: Bring On The Boot
The Dying Off Of Members Of MTV's Jackass Begins With Ryan Dunn
Ryan Dunn, who will forever be known for sticking a Hot Wheels car up his own ass in the movie "Jackass," and another as-of-yet-unidentified person, both died in a crash outside of Philadelphia early this morning. UPDATED.
Police say they don't know whether the 34-year-old Dunn, who appeared in all of the "Jackass" movies, or the unidentified person was driving the car. The shot up top was taken at the scene of a one-car accident that took place in West Goshen, Pa. around 3:30 AM Monday morning.
It's too mangled to tell, but it may in fact be the remains of Dunn's Porsche 911 GT3.
Police also don't know whether alcohol was to blame — but Dunn did tweet out the following picture from his Tumblr account hours before his death.
Our guess is that isn't an iced tea he's drinking.
UPDATE: MTV just tweeted out the following statement: "We're deeply saddened by the passing of a member of the MTV family, Ryan Dunn. Our hearts and thoughts are with his friends and family."
UPDATE 2: This is a photo of what Ryan Dunn's Porsche 997 GT3 looked like before the deadly accident — we're obviously still assuming that this was the vehicle being driven. We've received no confirmation yet on whether that's the case.
Hat tip to the folks at Vivid Racing for the photo.
UPDATE 3: Sister site Deadspin has the police report from the crash. See it here. The report claims Dunn was the driver — and yes, it was his Porsche 911 GT3.
UPDATE 4: From NBC Philadelphia: "The Porsche shot through about 40 yards of trees before it hit the last one and exploded into flames, according to police."
Are you fucking kidding me? Ryan Dunn was the first Jackass member to go? Not Steve-O. Well I guess he's sober and all, but I still thought he would fall off the band wagon. And if not him, I was at least hoping it would be Bam Margera. Because he's a giant douche and all. But not Ryan Dunn. What's next? Is Wee Man going to drown in a puddle? Actually, I'll put my money on Preston having a heart attack. That's the really fat one if you haven't brushed up on your Jackass in a while.
P.S. Coldplay is super gay, but I'll be damned if it doesn't make for a sad commemorative music collage video. Damn you Chris Martin. Damn you Ryan Dunn.
Here's A Bunch Of Dudes Brawling On Public Transportation
I'll say it once, I'll say it a million times. Brawling on buses or trains is never a good idea. Ideally, no where with rows of chairs or seating that restricts you from having enough room for proper brawling. So no stadiums, air planes, trains, buses, or church pews. Although I would kind of like to see a church brawl. Straight bible to the dome.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
How Did I Miss These Exploding Transformers In The Funk
Cue the fucking deadmau5 music. Boom. Free show. If I caught this on a roof top, it would be on. Big G, deadmau5, Pretty Lights and top it off with some widespread. Super super heady bro.
Do Not Steal This Guys Fucking Pecan Twirls
Everyone's got their fix. And for this old grandfather, it's pecan twirls. Not really sure what the hell he is calling them, but you can rest assure that this old dick needs his "motha-fuckin pin wheels." And I think I know where he's coming from. My shit is motha-fuckin Marie Callender's chicken pot pies. If I come home to find out that they're all gone, I super fucking pissed. And make no mistake about it. Brand is everything. Fuck the Boston Market pot pies. They're shit. This guys brand is Great Value. The walmart brand. Pretty good brand actually. They make some pretty fire roasted peanuts. And beef jerky.
The Taiwanese Animators Version Of The Vancouver Riots
Can't get anything past these damn Taiwanese animators. Ruthless bastards.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Even President Obama Is On The Maverick's Nuts
From ESPN.com:
Dallas Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle received a phone call Friday from President Barack Obama, who congratulated the franchise and the city of Dallas for winning their first NBA championship.
"The thing that he mentions first and foremost was how well we played as a team," Carlisle told 103.3 FM's Galloway and Company. "I was really proud of that."
The Mavericks toppled the Miami Heat in six games, capped with last Sunday's 105-95 win. Dirk Nowitzki took home Finals MVP honors with stellar fourth-quarter play throughout the series.
Carlisle said he had received messages on his office and cell phones alerting him that the president wanted a word. After a series of calls, the White House switchboard got a hold of the Mavs coach when he was at the airport.
"It was about five minutes, and then the president came on and he said, 'Coach, congratulations,' " Carlisle said. "That was how it started. ... He mentioned some of our veteran guys -- Jason Terry, Dirk, Jason Kidd, [Shawn] Marion. Of course, [J.J.] Barea's name came up because he was in Puerto Rico last week."
While visiting Puerto Rico, Obama took time to single out Barea, a native of the U.S. commonwealth, for his performance in the postseason.
"That guy can play," Obama said.
The Mavericks are scheduled to play an exhibition game in Washington on Oct. 21. Carlisle said he would love it if he and the team can use that day to meet the president in person.
"If he's around, that's an opportunity for us to stop by the White House," he said.
When you're on top, everyone wants a piece. Even the president of the most powerful country in the world. If we are still the most powerful country in the world. And don't give me all of that bullshit about China. Who has facebook? Who has twitter? Who has youjizz? U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
Friday, June 17, 2011
It's Hot As Shit Outside, So Pistol Is Staying Inside To Watch A Documentary On The Pistol
How Much Would Someone Have To Pay You To Lick Bird Shit Off Of A Car
I call bullshit on this one. He didn't lick it off. The bird shit was still very clearly there. He just made contact. I would touch some bird shit with my tongue for twenty bucks. No problem. Internet is bummy as shit today.
Just Another Woman Being Awesome At Parking
How much you want to bet this isn't her first rodeo? Probably nothing.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Dirk Killing It On Letterman's Top Ten List
"It might land me a Kardashian sister!!!"Funny because it's true. Kardashian's are famous for jersey chasing. Let Dirk smash Kardashians. Maybe even all of you at the same time. That's a sex tape I would actually pay for.
ESPN Is Racist As Shit
Ha. Really ESPN? You show Thomas Jefferson first, knowing he won't know who the fuck he is and George Jefferson last, knowing he for sure knows who George Jefferson is. Al Sharpton is not going to be happy about this one. Shame on you ESPN. Shame on you. "You'll have to marry someone named Weezy." Yeah, good one dip shit. He should marry Lil Wayne. Pretty sure no one else is named Weezy anymore accept Weezy F. Baby. Stupid ESPN anchors always trying to be all clever and shit.
Mavs Parade/Celebration Is Still Going Strong
From ESPN:
DALLAS -- Standing on an arena balcony, Dirk Nowitzki led the Dallas Mavericks and thousands of fans in singing their new favorite song: "We Are The Champions."
Team owner Mark Cuban led fans in another round of the chorus, with Jason Kidd holding the Larry O'Brien Trophy.
The joyous scene came Thursday at the end of a parade honoring the NBA champs. An expected crowd of 250,000 -- although it may have been more -- endured temperatures approaching 90 degrees to enjoy a party 31 years in the making since this one is the first title in Mavericks history.
There was still one more layer to the party, a ceremony with 10,000 season-ticket holders inside American Airlines Arena. The plaza around the building was filled to its 3,000-person capacity about two hours before the parade even began.
Fans filled the streets and sidewalks all along the roughly mile-long route between the convention center and the arena. Franchise founder Donald Carter and his wife, Linda, for whom he started the club as gift, were in the lead vehicle, a white convertible.
"Fantastic," Carter said.
In a waiting area at the start of the parade, Cuban clutched the championship trophy as entertainer Jamie Foxx, who is from the Dallas area, joined the fun. Most wore T-shirts that read, "Raise the Banner," and other championship gear. Cuban tweeted several pictures from the holding area.
"It's unbelievable," Nowitzki said as he took a cigar from teammate Jason Terry before boarding his float. "If it hasn't sunk in yet, it will now. ... We're on the top of the world now so it feels amazing. For 13 years I've waited for this moment. It's amazing and we're all going to enjoy it."
At the end of the parade, those who rode along said they were overwhelmed by the turnout -- people as far as they could see.
"I'm numb," said Donnie Nelson, the team's president of basketball operations.
Temperatures were in the mid-80s at the start of the parade and a high of around 100 was in the forecast, according to the National Weather Service. There were several reports of fans overcome by heat before the parade even began.
Inside the arena, most people came wearing blue, as they did throughout the postseason. They watched the parade and outdoor scene on the video board, chanting "M-V-P!" along with the fans outside when Terry introduced Nowitzki and singing along when Nowitzki began crooning. They also were treated to video clips from the finals and some behind-the-scenes footage in the locker room, the bus ride from the arena and the next morning at the hotel.
Watching this on TV right now is pretty awesome, but I'm kind of pissed I couldn't find anyone willing to go with me to Dallas for the celebration. Shit excuses from everyone. Oh I can't I have a test for my summer class, no I can't I have work, sorry I have heart surgery. All shit excuses. Dirk played with a torn ligament in his finger and a 120 degree fever, so the least you could do is take a day off to get drunk and roam around Dallas in honor of a unbelievable 2011 championship. Stop being selfish.
Big Gigantic And Widespread Are Throwing It Down Today
This is at Wakarusa this year. I was there two weekends ago and I'll be there tonight. Fuck... I am really awesome.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Canada Is Fucking Burning
Blah blah blah hockey, blah blah Stanley Cup, blah blah blah. Oh wait, Vancouver fans are burning their fucking country down. I mean hey, if all you had was the Toronto Blue Jays and the Toronto Raptors in real sports you might burn your fucking country down too if you lost the Stanley Cup too.
Tales From "Crocodile Nowitzki": A True Story Of A Tall German Child And His Road To Redemption
From: "Crocodile Nowitzki," a 2007 story by Jesse Hyde in the Dallas Observer:
Dirk Nowitzki was lost. And he was starting to stink.
He had come this far, deep into the Australian Outback, and now that it was dark, he didn't know where he was. Not exactly, anyway. He'd ended up on a patch of wind-swept dirt, surrounded by sagebrush and stiff yellow grass, a place to park the Jeep and build a campfire.
The closest town of any significance was Alice Springs, or the Alice, as the locals called it. It was once a telegraph station so remote it had to be stocked by camel train. Aborigines could still be seen at times on its outskirts, wading shirtless in the muddy Todd River. But that was 250 miles away. Other than the wind, which blew softly through camp, the night was silent.
Nowitzki sat in front of the fire, strumming his guitar and sipping his whiskey straight from the bottle. He had stopped shaving days ago and didn't know when he would bathe next. He had been in Australia for a week and a half, even though it was May, and by all accounts he should have been somewhere else. He should've been on a basketball court, leading the Dallas Mavericks deep into the NBA Playoffs. He should've been winning a championship. But for the second year in a row, the season had ended in disappointment. Once again people were questioning his mental toughness.
He had but one traveling companion on this trip, his mentor Holger Geschwinder, a mostly bald 62-year-old German with puffy bags under his eyes and a big Roman nose that looked like it had been broken in a fistfight, or several fistfights over the years. In the light of the fire, his features looked sharp, as if his head had been cut from granite.
Nowitzki had come to Australia because he didn't want to be recognized. He didn't want to be reminded of his failures, of the places he should have been.
In his haste to leave Dallas, he had failed to consider one thing-it was winter in Australia, meaning darkness would fall early each night of his trip. At the present moment, sitting in front of the fire, there was nothing to do but sit and think, or talk to Geschwinder.
"Why me?" Nowitzki wondered, gazing into the glowing embers. "Why is this happening to me?"
He had just a few weeks to find the answer.
Crocodile Nowitzki. Just kind of rolls of the tongue doesn't it. Croc Nowitzki for short. Sheeeee-it, might have to make a shirt right thurrr. Reading this excerpt from the Dallas Observer and this Deadspin article has convinced me that Dirk "Croc" Nowitzki is now my number one athlete that I wish I could personaly hang out with or know. Nolan, Troy, Dion, Irving, Emmitt, are up there for sure, but I can't tell you what I'd do to jam the fuck out with Dirk in Australia while drinking whiskey straight from the bottle. If the make a wish foundation did charidy for 20 something year old bloggers who were diagnosed as terminally ill, I would poison myself until I got something just so that wish could come true. Is saying that I would die for Dirk a little extreme? No. Because I would.
Lebron's Second "The Decision"
I know I should rant on about how awesome this video is and how Lebron is such a douche bag faggot asshole, but I think the best part about this video is that addresses how black people say asked, axed. It's just been hanging around there forever, and I feel like no one has said shit about it. I don't know why, but it bugs the mother fucking shit out of me. And I guess if I was an African American male, I would keep saying it like that just to piss off the white man. It would still annoy the shit out of me, but it's like an unwritten rule that you can't change it. Ask past tense equals axed in the black community. I don't know why, but that's just the way it is.
I guess it can be present tense too.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Mav's Parade Announced, Still In Mystery Location
(Goddamn you Google. I type in "parade" and this is the top image you give me?)
From ESPN:
You can expect a lot of folks will miss work Thursday.
That's when the Mavericks victory parade will take place, the team confirmed Monday.
True to their word not to plan anything before the championship was secured, city of Dallas officials won't release final details about the route until Tuesday morning.
Mavs owner Mark Cuban has already pledged to foot the bill for the parade, sparing the city.
Update:
The Mavericks victory parade will take place Thursday, June 16 in downtown Dallas, starting at Young Street at the Dallas Convention Center. It will then veer right on South Houston Street, taking a left at Continental Avenue and right at Victory Avenue, ending at the intersection of Olive Street at the American Airlines Center.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Rangers Are Killing The AL Hitting Stats
Nothing Says Summer Like Pool Fail Compilations
Be careful out there. God forbid some shaboomers crack their heads open at the pool and become unable to shaboom as they please. That's not the world I want to live in.
DeShawn Stevenson Doesn't Give A Flying Fuck
Ohio Is All Up On The Mavericks' Dick
This Little Girl Can Sit-N-Spin Like A Mother Fucker
Sadly, I don't know if I have ever dominated a children's toy as well as this little Dora the explorer girl dominated the shit out of this sit-n-spin. I guess you could say I was pretty damn good at torpedo. That rubber dildo that you throw in the pool. Pinpoint accuracy, getting it to jump out of the water and into someone's face, pretty good. But this bitch is triple-sow-cowing this sit-n-spin like she's Christina Yamaguchi or some shit. Wasn't even dizzy when she got up. And where was my sit-n-spin when I was little? All I had was an office chair with wheels. Got the job done, but nothing like the sit-n-spin. Shit.
I Need This Beer Fetching Dog Yesterday
I would love to see a cat do this shit. You were probably like me and thought, yeah but he didn't close the fridge. Be patient mother fucker. Dog went back. Because Peaches knows what's up.
Blonde Jokes Happen In Real Life. Or At Whitesox Games
Ha. Gotta say that the brunette right next to her should have noticed too. I guess all blonde jokes could just as easily be women jokes. Because everyone knows all women are stupid. Not just the blonde ones. The blonde ones just know how to use their stupidity to their advantage. Meaning they can act like they're too dumb to realize that they're being tricked into being shmanged by dudes. But in reality, that's what they wanted all along. So really, they are the smarter of the two?
P.S. Everyone knows all red heads get down.
First Dirk Celebration Pic
From ESPN:
MIAMI BEACH – Dirk Nowitzki barely celebrated throughout the Mavericks’ magical run. He made an exception after the sweep of the Lakers, cheating on his diet to eat some pizza.
Then he really let loose after the Mavs finished the job by beating the Heat to claim the franchise’s first championship.
Nowitzki joined owner Mark Cuban and the rest of Mavericks players and support staff to party at Club Liv, located at the Fountainebleau Hotel in Miami Beach. Dirk, who abstains from alcohol all season, gleefully chugged from the giant champagne bottle Cuban ordered and passed to his franchise player.
That was one of at least 100 champagne bottles ordered by the Mavs’ party, which passed around the Larry O’Brien Trophy while dancing in the club. Much of the Mavs’ party, including Nowitzki and Cuban, stayed in the club and savored the moment until about 5 a.m.
I need video of this. I need it so bad.
Is This The Most Gracious Winning NBA Owner Of All Time?
MIAMI -- Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban said championship parades and title rings just aren't his style, but the 2010-11 NBA champions will be riding floats through the streets of Dallas very soon.
And Cuban said he's picking up the tab.
"We'll do it," Cuban said early Monday morning. "All I told them was -- Terdema Ussery, our president -- you plan the parade. I'll pay for it because I don't think it's right for the city to have to pay for it. And let's just have some fun."
Any talk of a parade prior to the Mavs' 105-95 Game 6 victory over the Miami Heat on Sunday night was considered taboo.
Five years ago, after Dallas took a 2-0 lead in the Finals over the Heat and were bound for South Beach, parade plans were revealed and it became the first embarrassing mishap in an epic meltdown that has finally come to an end.
City officials still haven't set a date.
One area where Cuban hinted he might break with tradition is presenting championship rings to his players.
"I might not get rings," the Mavs' billionaire owner told NBATV. "Rings are old school. You've seen it before: There's guys who pick up the sweats and towels and they have these big, blingy rings. I'm like, 'Rings are done. It's time to take it to the next level.'"
What does he have up his sleeve? Cuban refused to reveal what he was thinking.
First he lets Don Carter accept the Larry then he takes the tab for the victory parade? Unreal. Don't know how I feel about him changing things up and possibly not getting his players, coaches, towel boys, etc. rings however. Imagine if you heard this shit after a whole year or possibly even years of being towel bitch. So I did all this shit and now that we finally are going to get a giant ass shiny ring, you're telling me "rings are done?" How's little towel boy going to get his dick wet now? Probably the same way he did before winning an NBA championship. Which coincidentally ends with a towel. On the other hand he's wanting to take it to the next level, so I will reserve my real judgment until he reveals what that is.
Lebron James Takes Responsibility For Being A Shit Player. Not Really.
I'm Sure This Is How Dirty Dirk Got Down Last Night
Probably was knee deep in skanks and scallywags till early this morning. Think about how tall Dirk is. That is a lot of skanks and scallywags. His knee deep is probably your life goal. Just punking the shit out of your p game. Man I hope some drunken Dirk videos or pics pop up. Why? Because I will probably never be lucky enough to party with Dirk, but if I could just see some more drunk videos or pics after this victory I would be partially satisfied. Help me out internet.
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