I'm Peacing Out To Waka. Meet Me Under The Green Celery Man If Your There

I shall call him Green Celery Man because I can't think of anything clever.

Fuck Lebron (With Bonus Blake Lively Nudie Pics To Ease The Pain)

Did the Mavericks lose? Yes undoubtedly they did.
Did the Heat win? No I really don't think they did.

We played like dick. We rebounded like dick, shot like dick, defended like dick.

Did this loss hurt? Fuck yeah it did, but by no means did I ever think they were better than us.

If you're hurting from loss, here is something to cheer you up:

Click here for the nude pics of Blake Lively

(Yeah I didn't think I'd ever link to that cumbucket Perez Hilton either. Then again, he did post pictures of Miley Cyrus' twat when she was 17 so that gave him some credibility in my book)

This Is How You Interrupt a Fucking Interview

Sorry about all the posts that are just videos and not my usual awesome commentary. I'm headed to Wakarusa tomorrow and I need to save all of my brain power cells that are going to get burned away this weekend.

What My Name Is....

Chikka Chikka Slim Shady.

There's A Basketball Game On Tonight

If we win I might shave my armpits.

Easiest Knockout In The History Of Knockouts

Damn, I always wish someone who could barely standup and also happens to be half my size would take a lame ass swing at me and then let me demolish him in front of a dance circle. You know that the dude who fucked that guy up got his dick wet that night. Girls can say they don't like violence all they want, but everyone knows that violence gets the poon wet, which in turn gets the D wet.

Someone's Over Dressed Dad Takes A Line Drive To The Dome

Somebody get this kid in kid pitch before he kills another over dressed dad. Then again, if anyone's dad deserved a line drive to the dome it was this guy. What respectable man decides he needs to suit up full uniform to pitch to seven year olds? Mother fucker even pulled his pants up like he's Ian Kinsler or some shit. I can only imagine the embarrassment his wife/life partner felt every game he went out to the mound. Everyone knows you're supposed to wear the dad uniform. Khaki shorts, polo shirt, fishing hat, and some old rebock tennis shoes, or whatever dads are wearing these days. Pretty sure you're supposed to pitch underhand and on one knee too. If you're throwing overhand and these kids are knocking the screws of the ball, it's time to let jr. take a stab at pitching. Just another prime example of what happens when you don't follow the rules. You wanna dress like a player? You're going to get internal brain bleeding like a player. Should have followed the rules.

This Guy Built A Moat To Save His House Like A Boss

You know all of the neighbors fucking hate this guy. That's what happens when you go boss style. Haters gonna hate.

I've Always Wanted To Run Through A Dirt Devil

And Apparently so does Jesus.

Jason Terry Is Going To Keep His Tattoo By God

From ESPN D:
Jason Terry's tattoo of the Larry O'Brien Trophy could be temporary.

"I definitely know that it will hurt worse if I have to take this thing off than it did putting it on," Terry said Sunday after the Mavericks wrapped up their final practice before boarding their flight to Miami.

If the Mavs fail to win their first NBA championship, Terry said it would mean his tattoo was bad luck.

"I'm very superstitious," he said.

Terry got the tattoo on Oct. 19 during a get-together Dallas shooting guard DeShawn Stevenson had at his offseason home before the Mavericks played a road preseason game against the Orlando Magic. Stevenson, who has hundreds of tattoos on his face, neck, torso and arms, offered the services of his personal tattoo artist to his teammates.

Terry, the only player other than Dirk Nowitzki remaining on the Mavericks' roster from the 2006 Finals team, got the trophy inked into his arm to send a message to his teammates.

"It just symbolized the fact that we had a realistic shot of getting here," Terry said. "If I didn't think we had a chance, I wouldn't have put it there."

It's official. If the Mavs win the Championship I will get the Davey O'Brien trohpy tatted on my ass.

I'm Gonna Drunkenly Post This High School Asshole Being Awesome All Over My Face

From ESPN:
IRVING, Texas -- By the time Jordan Spieth 's third round at the HP Byron Nelson Championship had ended, his senior classmates were taking the stage at Jesuit College Prep's graduation ceremony. But his day on the golf course kept him in contention going into the final round.

A pair of double-bogeys negated Spieth's brilliant start -- he birdied the first two holes to get to 5 under -- but the Dallas teenager still was tied for eighth after the third round.

The 17-year-old Spieth, who was tied for seventh going into last year's final round as a junior at Jesuit College Prep, was four shots behind the leader Ryan Palmer after a round of 2-over 72 in windy conditions at TPC Four Seasons Las Colinas left him at 1 under for the tournament.

Spieth's round ended about 4 p.m. CT on Saturday, the same time the other 245 boys in his senior class were beginning their graduation ceremony on the SMU campus about 20 miles away.

Because of expected traffic, Spieth's mother said they wouldn't try to get to the ceremony, which was also near the place where Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo was getting married.

Fuck this asshole. Why am I calling him an asshole? Jeallllllllllllllllllllousy... That's why. A real man can admit when he's broken. I'm sitting here drunk as a skunk blogging, he's sleeping thinking about how he's 8th in the Byron. Ha, what a pussy. He's sleeping while being 8th at the Byron. I'd be running trains on the entire high school class of ladies of Jesuit.

If there are errors in this post I admit I wrote this at 2 A.M. drunk. That's the difference between me and Jordan Speith.

UPDATE: So I doubt Speith is running trains on Jesuit girls considering that it is an all boys school. No wonder he's good at golf. No pussy around around can allow guys to get good at stuff.

So Apparently Freestyle Canoeing Is A Real Thing...

I youtubed "Freestyle Canoeing" because I prefer to embed the Youtube videos when they are available, but like a million different videos came up. What the fuck? Really world? Really internet?

Any who, This guy can fucking get all day long. Just straight bowtieing and canoeing right in your grill mix. And did he pick the best song ever for freestyle canoeing? Patrick Bateman definitely believes so.

Hot Dog VS. Lady Falling Asleep On Public Transportation

What? You think she was not gonna use the 2 second rule? Pretty sure she would use the 2 minute rule. Gotta give her mad respect for the response time though. What a champion. Real winner type shit.

For Those Of You Cheering For The Heat Against The Mavs, Here Is Your Champion

So if you are one of the few who reads shaboomin and happens to not like the Mavs, at least don't be a douche and cheer for this asshole. I can't really put into words how much I hate the Heat. Everything they do just pisses me off and makes me want to stop watching basketball. The flops, the crying, the "Heatles". I fucking hate it all. Especially how they act like everything they do is some kind of gift from God. Like oh sweet lay up Lebron. You should for sure bow out your chest as hard as you can and stare down the whole crowd. For sure do that.

47 Sound Clips Of Maria Sharapova Grunting At The French Open

Sorry but you have to click the link... sounds like one of those facebook viruses right? Wrong. Not really sure if this is a turn on or if it scares the shit out of me. I guess a little of both?

This Dog Likes To Beat Its Meat

All I gotta say is that this should be proof that dolphins are not the only other mammals besides humans that enjoy busting a nut. Pretty sure that dog is not thinking about procreating while he's tickling the red rocket. Just saying. Plus everyone knows that pigs have 30 minute orgasms. Oh you didn't? Well they do. So when people ask that stupid question, if you could be any animal, what would you be? And most people say an eagle or a dolphin or some dumb shit. Not me. I'd be a pig. Hands down. And if I become bacon so be it. Hopefully I'll be apart of someone's bacon sundaes at Denny's. Everybodyhappy.

Jason Terry Got A Tattoo Of The Championship Trophy Before The Season Started

From ESPN Dallas:
On Oct. 19, 2010 -- a day before a preseason game against the Orlando Magic -- guard DeShawn Stevenson had a get-together for his Mavericks teammates at his house.

Jason Terry got a tattoo of the NBA Finals trophy prior to the start of the season. "When he first got the tattoo, I said he was crazy," teammate DeShawn Stevenson said.
Stevenson, who has an offseason home in Orlando, brought his chef and his personal tattoo artist for the players. It was a team-building exercise.

Stevenson's chest, neck and arms are covered with tattoos. He even has a few facial tattoos and two piercings in his chest. But despite all of his tattoos, what he saw teammate Jason Terry do was mind-boggling at the time.

Terry got one placed on his right biceps of the Larry O'Brien Trophy, given to the winner of the NBA championship.

"When he first got the tattoo, I said he was crazy," Stevenson said of the tattoo that is on the inside of Terry's arm. "I didn't say it to him. But I've never been to the [NBA Finals], and for him to have that now. Wow. And he got that tattoo in October, and it means a lot with what we've been through."

How good of a gig is it to be an NBA players personal tattoo artist. I never even thought of that before. I always knew being the homeboy of a NBA player who can cook a mean omelette could take you places, but I didn't know that being a doodle artist could get you into the entourage. And yeah I know I'm being just a jealous of artists by calling it doodling because I can't draw for shit. I hate everything that I'm not good at. FIFA, Fight Night, Dominoes, I hate all of those games because I always get beat in them. Come find me at Madden or Fooze Ball though, and I'll fuck your world.

Nolan Ryan Is Giving Ron Washington An 85' Biarritz Cadillac For Last Years Great Season. Sure Why Not.

From The Dallas Observer:

There's no game out at the Ballpark today -- shame too, since it's likely The Last Lovely Day before summer slams into high gear. Nevertheless, at 11:30 this morning Nolan Ryan and Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington will find themselves at home plate, where Ryan will give Washington the keys to a new Cadillac.


And not just any Cadillac, but a black '85 Biarritz just like the one New Orleans resident Washington lost during Katrina. Perhaps you recall: Back in January, during the Dr Pepper Mid-Winter Awards Banquet, the team told Washington he was getting the new car courtesy Moritz Cadillac, which helped the Rangers find the ride. Here's one that run $13,500. Quite the...steal? Hit it, Joe.


But, per the release just dispatched by John Blake: "Since that original announcement, the Cadillac has been refurbished and detailed by Moritz. The upholstery has been changed from red to white and a sunroof has been added to make the vehicle exactly as Washington's original model. The engine has also been replaced." My dad, a parts man from way back, says, sure, the thought's awful nice, but they shoulda just gone the whole Eldorado, "because giving him a Biarritz is like firing him."

So that finalizes it. Ron Washington is the biggest pimp manager to ever bless the game of baseball. Cadillacs, cocaine, and bitches. How do I know Ron has bitches. Google Ron Washington wife. Nothing comes up. Cause Ron Washington doesn't have a wife. He has bitches. Fucking P.I.M.P.

John Rhadigan Fired. Team Explains That Shaboomin.com Put Too Much Pressure On The Ball Club

From ESPN Dallas:

The Rangers announced that John Rhadigan is no longer the play-by-play voice of the Rangers on television. Dave Barnett will take his place alongside analyst Tom Grieve. The club said the changes will be in effect starting with Friday's game against the Kansas City Royals.

Steve Busby will join Eric Nadel for most of the games on 103.3 FM ESPN and pre- and post-game host Bryan Dolgin will also assist Nadel for some games this season.

Rhadigan will return to Fox Sports Southwest as the lead anchor of FSSW’s Rangers pre and postgame coverage and other programming on the network.

“We feel that this restructuring will provide Rangers fans with quality television and radio broadcasts from a pregame, in-game, and post-game perspective,” said Rangers Executive Vice President for Communications John Blake in a release. “We have a group of experienced and knowledgeable broadcasters who should work well in these roles.”

Okay maybe it's a coincidene, but the fact is that within 24 hours of my post to get Rhadigan fired he got fired. All I'm saying is that Shaboomin.com runs the Rangers' organization and is the clear voice of reason for all of their decision making. Maybe I'm understating it a little bit, but that is the gist of it.

So Apparently The Hangover II Sucks Dick

I'm not really going to get into this because I know I'm in the minority, but I thought the Hangover part I sucked. I'm just glad that the second time around everyone agrees with me.

The Internet Is Blowing Up With Sloth Videos The Last 48 Hours

And



Fucking sloths man. What else can I really say?

Bring The Fucking Heat

I've been saying all playoffs since we beat the Lakers that I want to be in the championship with the Heat. I've always felt that a championship tastes better when you beat the best. And it might be nice to be the nation's favorite in a matchup instead of the team everyone wants to lose. Make no mistake about it, if we are playing the Heat in the Ship then everyone outside of Miami will be rooting for the Mavs. Actually I take that back. about 30% of the ethnic population will be rooting for the Heat, I guess they just prefer that kind of swag where you leave your hometown city in utter disgust to go to the beach with your friends kind of mentality. Not exactly sure why, it's just a cultural difference I guess. Tomato Tammmmmmato kind of thing. Either way I want to fuck the Heat in the ass, in the rain. I want to Lebron cry. I want to see D-Wade cry. I want to see Lebron's mother make a full of herself. I want the THE FUCKING HEAT. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'll be rooting for the Heat hard the rest of the Eastern Conference finals. Bring me the villains to deliver justice to.

I've Never Wanted To Crash A Wedding More In My Life

From ESPN Dallas:
The NFL lockout won't prevent Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones from going to the wedding of star quarterback Tony Romo.
At the NFL owners meetings Wednesday in Indianapolis, Jones said that he'll attend Romo's wedding Saturday in Dallas.

"I've gotten special permission," Jones said. "But more than anything, [I got the] right ticket from him and his fianceé -- Romo's wife-to-be. [It's] one of prettiest invitations I've ever seen.

"So, yes, I will be there and [I'm] proud for him. He's got the best end of this deal."

Because of the lockout, NFL teams are not allowed to speak with players or agents. However, there have been some charity events where players and coaches have crossed paths.
Romo has sent out wedding invitations to all of his teammates and most, if not all, are expected to attend. Romo is marrying former television reporter Candice Crawford.

What would I do to attend this wedding? I say this with the most serious face I can: I would literally cut off my ring finger. I feel as if the ring finger is the least important finger and I'm pretty sure that it would be worth it. I want to party with Romo and his jaunty hats 'til the sun rises. I want to party with Dez Bryant's inevitable horribly inappropriate clothing decisions. I want to party with all of Candice Crawford's bridesmaids. I want it so bad I can taste it. I wonder what the security is going to be like there?

Double Down Nuggetry

Uhhh since when is Weed not considered currency? I'm pretty sure the rule is if you're out of money that you're allowed to throw what you got that's equal value. So just weigh that shit out, give standard market value and flip those cards. Fucking cocky dealer probably did't want to take time out of his busy day to calculate the quantity. Vegas dealers are such smug cocksuckers... Well unless they are throwing me the cards I need, then I fucking love them, but that's hardly ever the case. Usually they're fucking me like Gloria Allred's hand with a bat.

Courtney Love Knows About An Awesome Drug

Courtney Love:
"The one drug I'd like to try one day is Ayahuasca, which should be mandatory for everybody. It's apparently this crazy tea that gives you these intense hallucinations. Everyone who takes it sees a wise old black man who takes you on a wild journey. I'm not going to name names, but everyone who takes it sees the same black guy. I'm not kidding you. Everyone!"

Okay, I'm just dying to know which black guy you see when you drink this tea. I'm literally about to try to find this shit because the curiosity is killing me.

I bet it's this black guy:

Did This Math Nerd Chick And Jim Knox's Utterly Retarded Segment Actually Teach Me Something About Sports...

(Lebron said it so I can too, because he's a role model)


slugging percentage by shaboomin

Honestly I never got how people calculated slugging percentage. Everytime I'd look it up, I'd see all these number and multiple calculations, and I'd be all "fuck that noise, not trying to be the best at mathercizing", But the way this bitch compared it to calculating GPA kind of made since to me.

I guess there's a first for everything. A girl telling me something I didn't know and Jim Knox's segment having substance.

P.S. I am giving Knox's segment too much credit here. When I was recording the clip I cut off the end of the segment because of how obnoxious it quickly turned. The whole mathlete section started some awful chant and Jim Knox went on laughing about it for a good 20 seconds. If I knew where my article was going to take me I would have included that part just to discredit the backhanded compliment I gave him. Fuck Knox and fuck Rhadigan. Well actually I don't hate Rhadigan, I just think he's incompetent. Kind of like the entire Oklahomo Thunder team, besides Durant. I don't hate them because they are sub par at their profession, I just don't particularly want to watch them.

Tornado Videos Never Get Old... Until They Kill You

I know people are dying because of these awesomely powerful tornadoes. So I'm not going to make any jokes. I'm just going to say how fucking intense this shit looks at the end. Looked exactly like the scene where Bill Paxton masterfully drove his storm chaser into flying cows.



Fucking Bill Paxton, is there anything this man can't tame? Tornadoes? Check. Polygamy? Check. Titanic? Check.

Sorry, I apologize. Tornado videos always make me get way off topic with Bill Paxton.

As Rangers' Fans We Must Come Together To Get John Rhadigan Fired

Click here to sign a petition to fire John Rhadigan. I felt inclined to add in the "extra comments" section that Dave Barnett should be the instant replacement. Barnett is literally leaps and bounds better than Rhadigan. If I hear Rhadigan scream at a pop fly and nonchalantly talk about a home run one more fucking time I'm going to lose my shit.

Now Dave Barnett is a guy who just looks like he would announce a Texas based baseball team.

Chick Orgasms On Roller Coaster Right In Front Of Her Boy Friend

Poor guy thinks he's having a good time. Making marijuana jokes, riding roller coasters, then bing bang boom his girl is orgasming all over six flags like it's nothing. "Peter, the orgasms I have with you are good, but this was really crazy." Peter knows what you're really saying. You saw his reaction. "Are you serious?" Dude went from laughing to straight face faster then Mr. Freeze goes from 0 to 60. Something tells me Peter just figured out that he hasn't been doing something right in the bedroom. And even if he was doing alright, how the fuck is he supposed to compete with thousands of pounds of steel and torque? Classic battle of man vs. machine.

If You Happen To Be Going To Wakarusa Look Out For This Balloon

So I just ordered this extremely happy celery guy to be my balloon for Waka. If anyone has ever been to a camp-out festival they realize that the combination of an impromptu city of tents setup by hippies and the copious amounts of disorientating drugs usually ingested, can make finding one's camping spot rather difficult. This year I'm a man with a plan though. Well more like a man with an inflatable smiling celery foil balloon. I'll just float that bad boy up from my tent with some fishing line about 30 feet and I'll be like Hansel and Gretel following my path through the forest. Or wait, their idea didn't really work out too well, but you get what I mean.
Either way, if you're headed to Waka look for the green celery guy and hit me up.

Someone Dropped Some Acid In This Grandma's Prune Juice

My #1 question about this video is how did this grandma get there. I mean once you find yourself in a womp womp dance party there's not much else to do but womp womp and dance, doesn't matter if you're a grandma or not. It just seems like if you had any senility left in your body that you wouldn't stumble into a womp womp party on accident. So maybe she's just down for the BUUUUUMP. But most likely she thinks it's the roaring 20's and she was stumbling upon a speakeasy filled with flappers doing the charleston.

At Least They Were Wearing Boxing Gloves

I don't know if this token white boy is drunk, sipping lean, or just the slowest person on the planet, but whoever encouraged him to put on the gloves with this guy is mean as shit. Watching him reminds me of those dreams where you get in a fight and all of your punches are moving at like one mile per hour, and when you do connect, it's the pussiest hit ever. At least take your Vick jersey off. Street fighting 101. Pathetic.

Nowitzki Is Cold Hearted

Time to break the hearts of Thunder fans everywhere. And by everywhere, I mean Oklahoma.

This Is What's Left At The Rangers' Game

Just delirious animals left over at the game. God, I wish that they continued to sell alcohol until the end of these games. The place would literally be burnt to the ground, but it would make for great Shaboomin material.

But in a sports related thought; great play by Murph dog.

Make Sure You Watch This Video Until The End

Yeah it's late and I'm still posting. Fuck it. You think I can stay concentrated on a baseball game for 7 hours? Noooooope.

But in all seriousness can we all agree that it's a bad idea to play pranks on black people...

It's 11:30 And The Rangers Just Resumed Play In The 4th Inning...

The Pistol is still there...

2 Free Rangers Tickets To Random Fan Of Facebook Page

The facebook "likes" have gotten a little stagnant lately, so being the marketing mogul that I am I came up with an awesome idea. I recently received 2 decent field level tickets for the Rangers VS the Mets on Saturday June 25th. Come June 15th I'm going to randomly pick a fan of the facebook page and award them with the tickets. I swear I won't just pick a hardbody because I can't go anyway. I'll just blindly pick someone. So if you're already a fan of the Shaboomin page, then awesome. If not tell your friends to sign up to so that way if they win they have to take you and you increase you're odds. Boom that's smart thinking.

(Do you think I had to get consent from the Rangers to do this? Oh well fuck it. Lawyers aint got shit on me)

And receive:

That was for you illiterate bastards that just look at the pictures and watch the videos.

Here's The Video Of George Bush Almost Getting Hit By A Foul Ball Last Night

My b for not posting this video earlier, but because Bud Selig is an Ass Clown, Youtube doesn't allow baseball videos. Because everyone knows all publicity is horrible publicity. Or something like that. 

You'd think Nolan Ryan's wife would be a little less of a bimbo when it comes to foul balls. I mean when you've been to literally 5000 games you'd think you'd realize ducking your head for a ball right over your head is about the worst thing you can do.  Keep your eye on the ball Ruth

Who's Down For A Ranger Game Tonight?

Expect big crowds tonight. Josh and Nelly dropping bombs their first game back will be sure to do that. Shit, it's got me going. Look for me in the home run seats ready to snatch one. Hopefully no rain delays this time.

Dirk Did It Raw Dog Style In OKC Last Night

From ESPN.com:

OKLAHOMA CITY -- Dirk Nowitzki scored 40 points, Jason Kidd hit the go-ahead 3-pointer with 40 seconds left in overtime and the Dallas Mavericks overcame a 15-point deficit in the final 5 minutes of regulation to stun the Oklahoma City Thunder 112-105 on Monday night and take a 3-1 lead in the Western Conference finals.
Dallas didn't lead until Nowitzki hit two free throws 16 seconds into overtime, needing to rally from a 99-84 deficit in the final 5 minutes of regulation. The Mavericks never let the Thunder -- who were one win shy of tying an NBA record with eight OT wins in the regular season -- go ahead in the extra period.

Read more here.


Great game to watch. I'll admit I was fed up in the fourth quarter, but when Dirk turned it on, I realized that I was witnessing a great legend. A tall German child who doesn't understand that you're supposed to be balanced when shooting, and that people don't make shots off one leg like that. Great game by Jason Kidd as well. Yeah, some times he seemed a little to eager to get a pass off when he should have just drove to basket, but his defense in the last minutes of the game and his three point shooting were clutch to say the least. Marion also had pretty good defense and Barea.... well sometimes your shit's gonna get packed when you're 5 foot nothing. And while at first I thought then no one could actually hate the Thunder, tonight made me thing different. I felt like I was watching a god damn soccer match. I've never seen so many flops and dives. Like every other play one of them would fall over like a pussy when no one even touched them, and the refs were just eating it up. Kevin Durant really didn't do it that much, but the rest of the team did and that's just not fun to watch. I don't like soccer or pussies who bitch and moan and flail around on the ground. That's some weak ass shit. Fuck you Thunder. How's that Dirk taste.

The Gayest Commercial Ever

Anyone else see the irony in the NBA and its players telling you not to say shit's gay when fucking everyone in the league says shit's gay? Well, that or calling people fucking faggots. NBA's is kind of gay like that some times.

Here's The New MW3 Trailer As Promised

Yuuuuup. This looks badass. I wished I wasn't a big enough nerd to tell you why Modern Warfare is so much better than the alternative (World at War and Black Ops bullshit). I'll spare you the details about Modern Warfare being made by a completely different company under the same brand. I'll spare you the details about Modern Warfare using a completely different software engine than the alternates. I'll just spare you of all that shit, just know that MW3 will be way better than Black Ops bullshit.

Dick Fouls Always Look Painful

Dick fouls just seem more and more common these days. Nike basketball dick foul cup?

Dirk Went Bessssserker!

On an unrelated note; Kendric Perkins looks like black satan.

Lohan's Tits Are Making Me All Warm And Tingly Inside

What do ya know. It's ole Lohan and the twins out for a little fresh air. Is she still into scissoring chicks or is she back on the d wagon? Either way she's flaunting that shit. Just begging someone to scissor or smang the crazy out of her. I see you Lohan. I know what you're up to.

Modern Warfare 3 Trailer Set To Debut During Mav's Game Tonight

From cinemablend.com:
No more teaser trailers for Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. Activision plans to release the military shooter's first gameplay trailer tonight during the Dallas Mavericks - Oklahoma City Thunder game.

"Modern Warfare 3 world premiere gameplay trailer tonight on NBA Western Conference Finals around 6pm PT (2 am UK). I'll link HD here. #MW3" tweeted Infinity Ward creative strategist Robert Bowling.

Sweet, bro. I'll have the trailer up shortly after my drunkeness from celebrating a Mav's win wears off. By the way I'm sooo ready for Modern Warfare. The current COD sucks.

Justin Timberlake Is Kind Of Cool

As much as I want to hate on him I can't. Just banging bitches, getting a fake character in Tiger Woods Golf, making funny videos. How can I hate?

Seriously, How can I hate? How can I hate?

Game Face Reporter Can Play For My Team Any Day

"Looks like the wrong tape loaded in there"
Brilliant! On the spot improv with great serious facial expression. I would have been laughing because you know that bitch is stupid, and it'd be great to witness her exclaim her stupidity on live TV. So bravo news anchor guy, you deserve the Brian Collins award of excellent live journalism

(Just in case you didn't realize, Brian Collins is the "Boom Goes The Dyanmite" kid

Josh and Nelly Should Be Back Today. Thank God.

From ESPN:

PHILADELPHIA -- It looks like two Texas Rangers sluggers will return from the disabled list Monday.
If all goes well with their final rehab starts Sunday in Round Rock, the Rangers likely will play reigning AL MVP Josh Hamilton and Nelson Cruz in Monday night's series opener against the Chicago White Sox.
"If they make it out of there healthy and everything goes well today, they'll be back in Texas," Rangers manager Ron Washington said Sunday morning before Game 3 of the series with the Philadelphia Phillies.
In two games, Cruz is 4-for-8 with two home runs and Hamilton is 2-for-7 with a home run and a double. Both players homered Saturday night.
The Rangers are 14-21 minus Hamilton and 7-9 with Cruz out of the lineup.

Full article here.

Bring out the broom sticks cause here comes the boom sticks. Rangers will be fun to watch again. Shapow.

Ham Face Girl Is Creeping Me Out

Really the only reason I'm posting this is because I liked this girls marketing prowess. "For more ham face got to hamfacegirl.com" How did I not think of hamfacegirl.com. Way easier to remember than Shaboomin that's for damn sure.

Where's My End Of The World?

No end of the World?
Bullshit.
I was hoping that I didn't have to care about shit.
Oh, was that why people gave money to this mad genius Preacher? Because it'd be nice to know when you don't have to give a fuck?
I'm pretty sure I'd be pumped to know when I don't have to give a fuck because I'm pretty sure that's about the time that'd I go and put an explosives under Skip Bayless' house. I mean if the world's gonna end, I might as well extinguish the worst person from existence, right?

P.S. watch the video of an asteroid hitting earth if you haven't before.

R.I.P. Randy Macho Man Savage

Usually when someone of such esteem and prowess passes into the after life I like to pour a sip of Mickey's 40 out for them, but instead this evening I have decided to SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM in honor of such a great man's passing.

Because I Watched American Psycho For The 500th Time Today

;

A surprising amount of people haven't seen this American Psycho themed Talking Heads cover music video, which is insanity. One of the best songs ever meets the best movie ever made and it becomes gold.

If you don't think American Psycho is one of the best movies ever made your fucking stupid and need to get the fuck off my website.

American Psycho Chase from David Myers on Vimeo.

Hamilton Homers In First Rehab Game

From the Dallas News:
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Josh Hamilton opened an injury-rehabilitation assignment with a blast Wednesday night.
Hamilton, reigning American League Most Valuable Player, had a two-run opposite-field homer in his second at-bat with Double-A Frisco at the Dr Pepper Ballpark. Hamilton also singled in his first four at-bats against Midland.
Hamilton, used as the designated hitter, is scheduled to play with Frisco today and join Triple-A Round Rock for the weekend. He could return to the Rangers lineup Monday.

Once the Rangers get back H-Bomb all will be well.

Here's A Sweet Remix For The Apocalypse This Saturday

Apparently Dooms Day is this Saturday May 21st. Right in the middle of Colonial. Bullshit. Well at least I'll have this sweet remix to be left behind with.

Meet me at the Walmart distribution center.

Shock Is A Powerful Thing

BMXer bros leg snapped like a twig and you couldn't have found a calmer person in the group. Just goes to show, shock is a powerful thing. How do you know a person is in shock? They repeat themselves. "I'm cool bro. I'm cool. Bro I'm coooool. I just feel like sleeping." Ok they might be a little sleepy too. And can I just say I really admire this kid. I fucking hate scarred too. Fuck scarred and whatever douche that goes on it. I'm with you broken leg BMXer bro. "Who the fuck is papa roach?"

This is papa roach bro..

Rex Ryan Fucked Up Hard Knocks For Everybody

From Prideofdetroit.com:
Earlier this week the Tampa Bay Buccaneers turned down an offer to be the team featured on this year's HBO Hard Knocks. This means the show doesn't have a team lined up just yet, although without a CBA training camp isn't even lined up yet.

Regardless, the search is on for a team to be on the show if there is indeed training camp this year. There's no word on which team is the new favorite is to be on Hard Knocks, but based on an ESPN poll that has more than 16,000 votes, people want it to be the Detroit Lions.

Surprise surprise. Nobody wants to be cast as the big fat fuck that Ryan portrayed on last year's Hard Knocks. Don't get me wrong I love Rex Ryan and his cussing-big-fat-fuck-toe-licking mouth. I just don't know if I'd be in line to be portrayed that way. Either way, this is bullshit. I need Hard Knocks and I need it now. It's easily in my top 5 shows of all time. Fuck it, I'll even watch it if it was the Redskins, but seriously please don't make it the Redskins.

I'm Not Sure What To Think Of This Dirk/Moses Video...

Either way. 4 game sweep two series in a row?

Hey Thunder, How's That Dirk Taste?

Two things I'll never get tired of. Barea some how driving straight to the basket uncontested and Dirk dunking like he's not the tall German child. Sick nasty.

Wisconsin Fan Tees Off At Colonial Dressed As Super Frog Because He Lost A Bet

From The Star-Telegram:

For TCU fans wanting to revel in watching Madison, Wis. resident Jerry Kelly don the outfit of the Horned Frogs’ mascot, SuperFrog, during today’s action at the Crowne Plaza Invitational at Colonial, here is the latest in regard to logistics.


Kelly, who lost a bet to TCU graduate J.J. Henry on the outcome of the Rose Bowl, will get dressed in the SuperFrog outfit at noon on today’s lower putting green at Colonial. Kelly will be joined there by Henry and TCU football coach Gary Patterson, who will are scheduled to tee off at 12:20 p.m. at the first tee.


Ideally, Henry said he would like for Kelly to join them in playing the first hole while wearing the SuperFrog outfit. TCU defeated Wisconsin, 21-19, in the Rose Bowl to allowed Henry the opportunity to collect today on their wager from the Jan. 1 contest. The losing golfer had to don the mascot outfit of the winning team at some point during today’s Colonial pro-am.

Read more: http://sportsblogs.star-telegram.com/colleges/2011/05/fw-golfer-henry-to-collect-on-rose-bowl-bet-from-kelly-at-noon-today.html#ixzz1MjXeiD3G

All I could think about after reading this article is, what if Wisconsin won? That would be so much more fun to see a colonial. Some dip shit dressed up in a badger mascot outfit just getting the shit pelted out of him by Fort Worthians and TCU fans with beers and what not. They'd probably have to escort him out in like 2 minutes. Especially if that mother fucker got around to whole 13. Man I need to find someone with a tent pass to colonial. Someone make this happen for me right meow.

More pictures here.

Walmart Is The Shit

You know where you can find everything? Fucking Walmart, that's where. You need an axe for $4? Walmart. You need a adult diapers for $8? Walmart. You need rifles and ammunition? Walmart. Hydrocodones? Walmart.
Which brings me to my next point. If there ever is an apocalypse in my lifetime I'm headed to the Walmart distribution center 20 miles south of Austin. That thing only has steel gated entrances and enough supplies and entertainment to last 10 lifetimes. As long as you've "liked" the Shaboomin facebook page I'll open up the heavily guarded fortress to you and your loved ones. If you haven't "liked" the page I'll let the zombies and/or demons reclaiming the earth do what they will with you.

P.S. The one thing that Walmart doesn't have is hot chicks. Or any attractive members of society for that matter. Every time I'm in Walmart I feel like Brad Pitt meets James Dean. You need a self-confidence booster? Walmart.

What Did The 5 Fingers Say To The Face?

SLAP!

I promised I'd dumb down the place with next post. I didn't want any of yall to think I was getting intellectual or anything. Shhiiiiiiiiiit.

Wake Up With The Fakest Looking Real Picture Ever

From Gizmodo:
What you're looking at isn't a painting. It's not a Photoshop job or an artist's rendering. It's a photograph, taken by National Geographic's Frans Lanting, that captures the camel thorn trees of Namib-Naukluft Park at the most perfect moment imaginable.
Click the image to biggie size for the full effect. That orange backdrop? That's a dune reflecting Namibia's rising sun. And while the trees themselves look like etchings of a dream, they're a very real part of one of the country's largest national parks. It's beautiful, it's serene, it's surreal. And it's still almost impossible to believe that the only paintbrush used was nature's.

Blah blah blah. Yeah this picture is awesome, but what am I here for? To culture you? I promise I'll have a fight video or hot chick on here before noon.

The Sound Of Thunder Silenced By Maverick Lightning

Dirk was awesome. Barea was Awesome. Jet was awesome. The funny thing, was that Durant was awesome too. Do I think we are going to sweep? No I really don't, because the x-factor is Westbrook playing well. He played horrible tonight, but I think he only has about 2 great games a series to offer, and the Thunder need him to be GREAT to win. So there you have it folks. This series will be done in 5 or 6 depending on which games Westbrook decides to be great in. This thing isn't going 7 though.

And like I posted on my facebook status:
Everyone's on Dirk's dick (understandable). I'm like Miss universe (riding J.J Barea's D tonight)

In honor of Barea's awesome performance here is a picture of his girlfriend, Miss Universe:

P.S. I think I should start writing titles for the Star-Telegram.

The Sound Of Thunder Silenced By Maverick Lightning

How good was that?