There's no game out at the Ballpark today -- shame too, since it's likely The Last Lovely Day before summer slams into high gear. Nevertheless, at 11:30 this morning Nolan Ryan and Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington will find themselves at home plate, where Ryan will give Washington the keys to a new Cadillac.
And not just any Cadillac, but a black '85 Biarritz just like the one New Orleans resident Washington lost during Katrina. Perhaps you recall: Back in January, during the Dr Pepper Mid-Winter Awards Banquet, the team told Washington he was getting the new car courtesy Moritz Cadillac, which helped the Rangers find the ride. Here's one that run $13,500. Quite the...steal? Hit it, Joe.
But, per the release just dispatched by John Blake: "Since that original announcement, the Cadillac has been refurbished and detailed by Moritz. The upholstery has been changed from red to white and a sunroof has been added to make the vehicle exactly as Washington's original model. The engine has also been replaced." My dad, a parts man from way back, says, sure, the thought's awful nice, but they shoulda just gone the whole Eldorado, "because giving him a Biarritz is like firing him."
So that finalizes it. Ron Washington is the biggest pimp manager to ever bless the game of baseball. Cadillacs, cocaine, and bitches. How do I know Ron has bitches. Google Ron Washington wife. Nothing comes up. Cause Ron Washington doesn't have a wife. He has bitches. Fucking P.I.M.P.
No comments:
Post a Comment