Having A Riding Mower Must Be Awesome

One of my favorite things in the world was when I was scheduled to mow the lawn in 100 degree weather and out of no where the heavens would smile upon me and it would rain. I'd be all "Fuck that shit, I can't mow, it's fucking raining" Obviously because I was straight gangsta I'd get my mom to pay me in advance so I'd have extra beer money for no extra work, which was awesome. But that was all because I didn't have a fucking riding mower. This guy here is living the dream. He's all "Fucking rain, fucking hail storm, I don't give a flying fuck. I'll just ride to glory like a goddamned gangster"

One of my first homeowner's purchases will definitely be a riding mower.