You know where you can find everything? Fucking Walmart, that's where. You need an axe for $4? Walmart. You need a adult diapers for $8? Walmart. You need rifles and ammunition? Walmart. Hydrocodones? Walmart.
Which brings me to my next point. If there ever is an apocalypse in my lifetime I'm headed to the Walmart distribution center 20 miles south of Austin. That thing only has steel gated entrances and enough supplies and entertainment to last 10 lifetimes. As long as you've "liked" the Shaboomin facebook page I'll open up the heavily guarded fortress to you and your loved ones. If you haven't "liked" the page I'll let the zombies and/or demons reclaiming the earth do what they will with you.
P.S. The one thing that Walmart doesn't have is hot chicks. Or any attractive members of society for that matter. Every time I'm in Walmart I feel like Brad Pitt meets James Dean. You need a self-confidence booster? Walmart.
No comments:
Post a Comment