Georges St. Pierre wins| Ninth Straight MMA MAtch| MMA News

A plain champ kept his amusing personality alive, besides a expired champ was knocked game retirement.

Welterweight proposer Georges St-Pierre won a unanimous understanding whereas Jake Shields at UFC 129 on Saturday witching hour string Toronto.

The entangled martial arts attainment was the ninth real as the 29-year-old supporter from Montreal. Shields, 26-5-1, had his 15-fight pleasing singularity snapped.

The melee was contested almost in fact take cover the fighters on their feet. St-Pierre offered an bravura of exceptional kicks when not viscous extraneous his prod or launching an overhand fit. He leading no copy of Shields string the clinch, position the American could experiment to resolve de facto lone to the origin to benefit his jiu-jitsu.

Earlier network the night, invalid whopping further luminous whopper upholder Randy Couture was knocked superficial esteem the aid ruckus by Lyoto Machida. Couture, 47, called legitimate quits following the fight.

“You’re not vitality to look at me besides. This is it,” Couture verbal.

Mel Kiper Is The Anti-Christ

I'm going to do a draft recap, but not until this 4 day long fiasco comes to close. Fuck this all week draft shit. At least DJ Steve Porter is holding down the draft.

It's The Weekend Bitches

D.J. Steve Porter is my shit.

Congrats To The Mavs

Bring on the Lakers.

This Is How I Did Your Mom Last Night

I know the background story to this video, but I think I'm going to keep to myself. At least for now. I think this video is 10x funnier with no explanation.

If Crazy Tornado Videos Keep Blowing My Mind I'm Going To Keep Posting Them

That's exactly how I would prefer to see a tornado. This is just about as close as you can get to a huge tornado without getting injured.
"Only one of us has seen the F5, we call it the finger of God."

Today Is A Sports Day Like A Motherfucker

1:05 - Rangers start game against Blue Jays. Agondo (3-0, 2.13 ERA) vs Morrow (0-1, 5.06 ERA)

7:00 - NFL draft begins

9:30 - Mavs vs Blazers game 6 @ Portland.

(Why does Thursday keep trying to buck Friday for the best day of non-weekend)

Maybe Those Mayans Were Right About That Whole End Of The Earth Thing

The internet keeps making a really strong case for the crackpots who think the world is coming to an end. Speaking of 2012, did anyone watch the movie 2012. It sure did look shitty.

Random things about "2012" the movie:
-John Cusack was the main character. Has John Cusack ever been good in a movie other than "Being John Malkovich"?

-NASA had to make a hotline designated for people calling about 2012. NASA thinks 2012 is bullshit.
Here is a list that NASA made of the most unrealistic science fiction movies of all time.
1. 2012 (2009)

2. The Core (2003)

3. Armageddon (1998)

4. Volcano (1997)

5. Chain Reaction (1996)

6. The 6th Day (2000)

7. What the #$*! Do We Know? (2004)

Here is a list of NASA's most realistic movies of all time:
1. Gattaca (1997)

2. Contact (1997)

3. Metropolis (1927)

4. The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)

5. Woman in the Moon (1929)

6. The Thing from Another World (1951)

7. Jurassic Park (1993)
Did anyone see "Contact"? Worst movie ever. And how is "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" not on that list. Shit is real as fuck.

- Bill Paxton would have been much better suited for the part in 2012 than John Cusack.

Maybe The Deepest Internet Video Of All Time

Is this the most poignant video of our generation? Will anyone reading this notice if I used the word poignant slightly incorrectly?

Probably and probably not.

Fuck Brad

If Brad shaved his head, he'd look like he just had a neck and no head. Have you ever seen anyone with such proportion of neck width to head width?

But Seriously, Brad sucks. Bill Paxton runs acting circles around Brad like a motherfucker.

The Draft Starts Tonight

Here are some of my thoughts about tonight's draft:

-- Dallas Cowboys
With the no. 9 spot I feel as if the Cowboys are locked into a boring 1st pick. The big wigs over at ESPN (Kiper and McShay) both have the Cowboys picking OT Tyron Smith out of USC, while local draft guru Bryan Broaddus has the Cowboys taking OT Anthony Castanzo out of BC. My gut tells me Jerry will do everything in his power to trade down or even trade up to avoid picking an offensive tackle in the first round. It just doesn't have enough pizzaz for a Jerry 1st rounder. I could see us dropping down to the back of the round and picking up Mark Ingram. It just seems like a Jerry thing to do.

-- Andy Dalton
I'm not sure that Andy's name will be called tonight, but he definitely has a strong possibility of being a first rounder. I'd like to root for the TCU redhead in the NFL, so I mainly care that he doesn't go to the: Redskins, Eagles, Giants, Texans, so pretty much not in the NFC East or that shit heel of a football team the Texans.
For some reason I get the feeling a team at the middle of the draft is going to slide back and wait for Dalton. He just seems like a player some QB coach likes and convinces the front office they can get who they want and value by moving to the back of the draft. I could see the Redskins, Vikings, Jaguars, or Dolphins doing this. ( I don't really have a logic behind this prediction, it just feels logical)

--Madden '12
There doesn't seem to be as many explosive players in this draft as in recent past drafts. There's no running back that you know will be ranked an 87 overall with a 97 speed come Madden day. That being said, I'm hoping to see Julio Jones going to a Madden squad I run with. I could see myself becoming fond of the Rams in Madden. With Donnie Avery and Julio Jones as the WR's, Stephen Jackson running the rock, and that injun Sam Bradford running the show, I could see myself becoming quite fond of St. Louis as my squad.

Alabama Got Shit On By Tornadoes

Bill Paxton is freakin' out right now.

Helen Hunt is too.

(Thanks to Pmac for pointing out the actress' correct identity, I remembered her from that show where she was married to that Jewish guy)

Asian Carp Fish Apparently Need To Be Killed

From the Twin Cities Pioneer

A 27-pound bighead carp, caught Monday in the St. Croix River near Prescott, Wis., was on display at the Department of Natural Resources headquarters in St. Paul on Wednesday April 20, 2011. The 34-inch carp is among several invasive Asian carp species that could cause serious damage to the state's aquatic ecosystems. (Pioneer Press: Richard Marshall) (Richard Marshall)

A rogue bighead carp was pulled from the Lower St. Croix River this week, adding to fears the invasive creatures are slowly working their way into Minnesota border waters.

A commercial fisherman netting for buffalo and common carp caught the 27-pound fish Monday just north of the St. Croix's confluence with the Mississippi River and contacted the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources, agency officials said.

It was the seventh bighead carp found in eastern border waters since 1996 but the sixth since 2003. DNR officials stressed the fish appears to be a loner that swam north and there's no indication yet of a reproducing population in Minnesota portions of the Mississippi or St. Croix rivers.

"Large migratory river fish — that's what they do ... they migrate," said Brad Parsons, DNR central region fisheries manager.

"It's alarming, but it's one fish," added DNR communications director Chris Niskanen.

Bighead and silver carp, another type of Asian carp noted for its leaping abilities, have been on the agency's radar for years because of the threat they pose to the state's $2.7 billion fishing industry.

Imported from Asia four decades ago to control algae and other problems in Southern fish farms, they eventually escaped or were released into the wild and have been slowly making their way up the Mississippi and Missouri rivers to southeastern Minnesota and South Dakota. They consume huge amounts of tiny plankton, upsetting the food chain and

pushing out native fish, eventually making up 90 percent of some area's fish biomass.
With their acrobatic leaps from the water when bothered by motor sounds, the silver carp have become especially well-known.

The state is scrambling to put some sort of barrier in place.

Years ago, it explored an underwater acoustic barrier in the Mississippi to discourage a northward migration, but that experimental and admittedly temporary effort has stalled.




I'm not going to lie, I had no idea that the Asian Carp fish needed to be killed, but after watching this video I sure as hell do. Fuck going water skiing and getting pelted by stupid Asian fish the whole time. I want to be trying to grind some heady H20, not getting fish blasted. Upon seeing this video, I immediately googled "Asian Carp Problem" and shit is no joke. Asian carp are fucking shit up.


Shit Is Real. Bill Paxton Real.

Peyton Hillis Is The Only White Running Back In The NFL

Peyton Hillis is the only white running back in the NFL. Duh he is the Madden '12 cover. The Great White Hope!!!!!!!!

The battle for the cover was between Michael Vick and Peyton Hillis:
A dog fighting gangster vs a white corn fed running back.


I voted for Vick.

Look At This Scary Ass Fucking Tornado

Shit is real. Like Bill Paxton Real. Like Jodie Foster Helen Hunt Real. Like Cows Flying By Windows Real.

This Video Was Featured On Ebaums Today

From Shaboomin April 14th 2010:
From the Star-Telegram

FORT WORTH -- Louis Torres has a can-do attitude.
Just one glance at his yard, which is adorned with thousands of beer cans -- some strung together, others crafted into ornaments -- provides proof.
Torres began putting together his beer-can canopy a couple of years ago. He and his buddies share an affinity for Miller Lite and Milwaukee's Best Light, and when the cans began to pile up, Torres went to work.
He wrapped the end of a long, thin wire around a weight, tossed it over one of the limbs of a hackberry tree in his back yard, and started stringing cans onto it. When the string was about 30 feet long, he tied it off to his chain-link fence.
Torres was so impressed with the result that he did it again, and again.
The result is head-turning exhibit in a mostly industrial neighborhood west of downtown.
"Some days there's four or five cars parked out there" on Currie Street, Torres said. "People come up and take pictures. They call it the beer tree."
"Beer trees" is more accurate. More than 75 brilliant strings sweep from various heights. Most start in the hackberries and tall cedars. Some loop from the edge of the stone house's warped roof.
Torres said he was about a year into his creation when his daughter, Deann Ledesma, showed him how to slit the cans' sides, then squash them to create an ornament. When the wind blows, the ornaments spin.
Jeremy Conley, a courier for a company in Dallas, stumbled onto the house Monday when making a delivery in the area. He rolled down his window and stared at the display.
"It's amazing," Conley said.
Another visitor, Jacky Miller, saw the house a few months ago and had to show it to his friend, Jack Hooten. The two brought a 12-pack of Miller Lite to share with Torres.
Torres didn't know either of the men, but friendships form fast over cold beer. He said they're not the first strangers to bring him brews.
"Some days I'll get home and find 12-packs sitting just inside the gate," Torres said.
The cans not only serve as yard art; they're a savings account of sorts.
"If I'm short of money and need cigarettes or beer, I'll pull down a string and cash it in," Torres said.
Torres said as long as the cans keep coming, he'll keep creating.
"Thanks for the beer," he told Miller and Hooten as they climbed back into a pickup. "I will put 'em up."


I know this a long article and usually I would just take an excerpt or two, but this thing is solid gold. The first thing I was asking myself was how the hell are the neighbors not bitching about this? Then I read that Louis here lives in the industrial west side of Fort Worth. Ha I imagine its kind of like the abandoned house in Fight Club. Then Louis somehow manages to have the reporter spin the article about how he is resourceful and productive for drinking a shit ton of beers and then drunkenly stringing them across the yard. Holy shit Louis, I need you as my blog PR guy. You'd probably have my blog pullin' down Pulitzers in no time. And shit that's not all, Louis is collecting free twelve packs from strangers to boot. Bravo Louis, Bravo.

UPDATE: I Just saw this picture with the "Rehab is for Quitters" sign in his yard and to post it. I am definitely headed to the 7-11 getting a twelver of Milwaukee's and headed to Louis' beer wonderland.

I'm not going to try to reinvent the wheel here. I'm just going to post the blog I wrote a fucking year ago. A YEAR AGO. Fuck the internet needs to catch up. Shit is embarrassing.

I'm Headed To The Rangers' Game... Fuck A Tornado

I don't give a fuck about a Tornado Watch. Shit ain't no warning. Watch is for pussies, everyone knows that.

Fat Guy And Scooters Make For Good Entertainment

"Fat chicks are like mopeds, they're fun to ride until your friends catching you doing it"
-The Pest

The Pest is the best movie ever made by the way. If you haven't seen The Pest I don't know what you are doing with your life.

Tony Allen From The Grizzlies Gets Cool Haircuts

From Deadspin:
For a brief time yesterday, Memphis guard Tony Allen had this haircut, featuring a barber's rendition of the Grizzlies mascot and highlighted by the staples of any middle school girl's make-up routine: glitter and white eyeliner. Allen trimmed it before the game started (he had 12 points in the win), but there is, thankfully, this photo for posterity.

It's a crime that Tony Allen didn't wear this haircut while beating the Spurs. Fuck the Spurs.

Jay-Z Is A Fucking Liar

Or maybe he isn't. Maybe if eating dinner with your bitch gives you a boner than she aint no probbbblem. All I know is that my bitch is like 73 out of my 99 problems. That's not even that high of a number either. I've been with bitches that were literally like 94 out of my 99 problems.

P.S. If she reads this she'll be like 98 out of 99 problems. (The other problem being my taxes because I'm pretty sure I filed those fucked up as shit)

Mavs Won. I Might Watch Next Series... Might... If The Rangers Aren't Playing At The Same Time

I don't really have much to say about this win, because I didn't watch it. I could regurgitate what some other sports writer wrote about it like most sports fans do, but that's not how Clegg does things. I just call em like I see em. And I didn't see shit, except for the scoreboard up on my computer while I watched the Rangers. So I guess I can say it was a solid second half. Got a lead and held it, Mavs. Way to go.

Do I Watch The Rangers In A Somewhat Meaningless Game Or The Mavs In A Near Must Win Playoff Game?

The 'Creif is going to be pissed about this post.

This is truly gangsta

Titties and carrot cake: that actually is all I really need.

via Huffington Post

Gatling gun slingshot

This guy could sell a bunch to the Libyan rebels.

via BroBible

Milky Tribe

So this Milky Way video has been making the internet rounds lately. Honestly, I just felt like throwing some STS9 up on the site since I just listened to their comeback show at Ultra Music Fest.

See you at Waka.

Flaming wallet prank

Do this at the wrong fast food joint and you might just get yourself accidentally shot.

via Stuff I Stole From The Internet

Car Porn of the Day: Lamborghini Aventador

Makes me wish I had a better job. Sigh...

Uber fusion

This can't possibly be good.  I can only imagine the morning aftermath on the toilet.

via Banned in Hollywood

Vietnamese girl rocks Billie Jean

I'm just thrilled to have a post on a Vietnamese girl and it's actually SFW. This girl is pretty awesome though.

via Hyphen Magazine

OU At TCU Tomorrow

Sorry I've been kind of a terrible TCU baseball fan lately, but if you're in the area, you should definitely come check this game out.

Just watch this video if you haven't already seen it and let it pump you up. I think Hanz Zimmer could make anything seem like the most important dramatic thing in the world. Worked for Inception...

BJ's In Arlington Tonight

Ranger Blue Jay preview (ESPN).

Rangers barely sweep Roylas recap (FoxSportsSouthwest).

What the B Jays did against Colby Lewis last year (Star-Telegram).

Erin Andrews Likes To Tweet Pictures Of Her Bruises And Dog

For her own sake she needs to stop posting these. No one gets turned on by battered woman, or at least most people don't. I mean what does she think this is doing to her career? Cause it's not helping. Like all I can conclude from these pictures is that a. Erin Andrews in somehow lonely, b. she likes to get down with her dog and let it rough her the fuck up and c. she likes to take pictures of her nasty bruises and put them on the internet. Go back to fake peep hole scandals. That was a lot sexier.

And really? You got hit by a baseball? If that's not a battered woman excuse, then I don't know what is. Also, Emmy Lou is definitely a guy dog.

Happy Easter

Cat Can't Catch Matrix Rabbit - Watch more Funny Videos

I thought I'd show a video of a bunny being badass for Easter.

And then a video of bunny being exploded. Ya know, just because.

I Thought Brandon Roy Was Supposed To Have No Knees... WTF

Worst loss ever. I will never believe in this team again. Literally they will have to blow out every team and win the championship before I ever put an ounce of trust in them again. Typical Mavericks playoff basketball.

We Need A Good Game By Dirk "The Knuckle Cracker" Nowitzki

Mavs record when I post the "Take Dat Wit Chew" video before the game: 2-0
Without me posting the video: 0-1

So anyone versed in statical relevance will surely conclude that the Mavs will win tonight.

Mavericks Dancers Have Wardrobe Malfunction

Oh... Wait never mind you got Rick Carlisled

Brandon Marshall's Wife Stabbed Him

From ESPN:
Dolphins Pro Bowl receiver Brandon Marshall was stabbed with a knife Friday in the Miami area and taken to a hospital, where he remained in intensive care after surgery Saturday morning, league sources told ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter.

Marshall's wife, Michi Nogami-Marshall, 26, was arrested Friday by the Broward County Sheriff's Office on a charge of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, and a league source confirmed to Schefter that the arrest was in connection with the stabbing. Bond was set at $7,500 and Nogami-Marshall remained in jail Saturday.

Marshall, 27, was taken to Broward General Hospital by car and underwent surgery late Friday night for a stab wound to the stomach, sources told Schefter.

No vital organs were pierced in the incident, and doctors have told him that Marshall will be OK in two to three weeks, sources said.

Doctors were expected to discharge Marshall from the hospital Saturday afternoon.

Brandon Marshall's wife, Michi Nogami-Marshall, was arrested Friday on a charge of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.
"This is a very difficult time for Brandon and family, thankfully he will make a full recovery," Marshall's agents, Kennard McGuire and Harvey Steinberg, said in a statement. "We simply ask that his privacy is respected."

What a crazy bitch.

Our Marines can do a Britney cover and still kick ass

Why dating an older MILF would be awesome

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Mission Impossible Squirrel

Some bored people in England set up this contraption in their backyard and trained a squirrel to get all Mission Impossible.

Ray Lewis Is A Murdering/Awesome Motivational Speaker

Does Ray Lewis control Thunder? At that 1:08 mark is some synchronized fucking thunder. I am literally debating whether or not Ray controls thunder or if he had the people from Rainforest Cafe set up a sound system before he gave the speech. I would say he was the best motivational speaker, but that honor goes undoubtedly to Tashard Choice.



Serious question: Does the Rainforest Cafe still exist?

Everything Sucks In Philly (Except For "Always Sunny")

Are you kidding me with this shit? How the fuck are you not going to have your robot make it to home plate in the air? Weak sauce, Philly. Weak sauce.

The Rangers Fall Out Of First Place

Well the Rangers lost, but...

-They lost to the early pick for the Cy Young in Jared Weaver
-Matt Harrison continues to look like the runner-up for the Cy Young
-Adrian Beltre is carrying this team right now
-And finally, how about this weird picture from Texas Monthly?

Naked chicks help society

Nudity for Charity could be the greatest Internet invention of all time.  The site enables ladies to raise money for their favorite charity by offering to get naked once a certain dollar threshold is raised.  So far only a handful of girls have taken advantage of this wonderful concept but I'm hopeful this site will really take off.   

I could use some Viagra beer

To commemorate the upcoming royal nuptials, Scottish brewery Brewdog is releasing Royal Virility Performance Viagra Beer which contains herbal Viagra and other goodies that are suppose to get you strong like wood.  Bottles sell for about 15 bucks and only 1,000 bottles will be available.

via Laughing Squid

College degrees explained

via Izismile

My work day anthem

I need this pill

via Uber Humor

Who says there are no jobs to be had

via Turd Furgeson Blog

And Here's A An Unexplainable Weird Video To End Your 4/20

Crush of the Day: Nathalie Kelley

I love those aha moments, like this morning when I realized that the girl from 2 Fast 2 Furious Tokyo Drift is also that sexy cutie in the Bruno Mars video.  Let's hope we see more of Nathalie Kelley in the future.  Oh btw, she's got a topless photo floating around so if you've got some free time at work...

94 percent chance you will get bowel cancer

Here's some bad news dear minions: a recent study in Australia shows that having a desk job will increase your chances of developing a tumor in your bowels by 94 percent.  Apparently even vigorous exercise won't help:

"Even a high level of vigorous recreational physical activity did not modify the effect of sedentary work.' And they warned: ‘The findings have occupational health implications, given that advances in technology have led to increasing amounts of sedentary behaviour at work.' Sitting down on the job is thought to lead to increased blood sugar levels and damage insulin production, both of which have been linked with the development of bowel cancer"

So basically you're screwed.  

I now like ukuleles

via BuzzHunt

Happy 420 Day

I don't partake but I'm sure some of you do.  Puff puff give minions.

via My Confined Space

Tracy Morgan on the Internet

via Uber Humor

When a tow truck would be a good idea

via Random Funny Picture

Two Videos To Start Out Your 4/20

Best 4/20 video ever? Probably.


Just a good video to listen to when your high as fuck.

Could The Mavericks Be Sneakily Built For The Playoffs?

Good defense. Timely three pointers. A really good theme song.
These are all of things that a team needs to win a championship and through 2 games the Mavs have definitely had all three.

Or could it be possible that Portland was never that good to begin with?

Here's The Cowboys' 2011 Schedule

Even though we sucked last year, I don't see how we don't win 10 games looking at this schedule. It just seems to look easy stacked up the way it is.
If the Cowboys don't make the playoffs next year I'll finally agree with the haters and will give up on Romo. Until then, I ride with Romo and say "fuck the haters."

(Too bad this is all for not, with there being no season and all)

Official Jam For The Mavericks' Playoff Run

In this episode of Mav's vs shitty referee... Well we'll see.

If The Mav's Lose Tonight It's Definitely Not Their Fault And Especially Not Mark Cuban's

From ESPN:
Danny Crawford is the lead official of the crew that will work Tuesday night's Game 2 in the Dallas Mavericks' first-round series against the Portland Trail Blazers. That will make many Mavs fans cringe, given the franchise's miserable track record in playoff games worked by Crawford.

The Mavs have a 2-16 record in playoff games officiated by Crawford, including 16 losses in the last 17 games. Dallas is 48-41 in the rest of their playoff games during the ownership tenure of Mark Cuban, who has been fined millions of dollars in the last 11 years for publicly complaining about officiating.

Well that's good. This way if the Mavericks lose we can blame it on the officials. So if you look at that way this is no lose situation.

Pretty Soon You'll Be Able To Watch Every HBO Series And Movie On Your Iphone, Ipad, Or Android

HBO shows are really the only thing missing from Netflix instant, and while HBO Go definitely isn't as awesome as Netflix isntant on my Xbox, it's still pretty badass. Fuck it, I might just go to the Emergency Room so I can have an excuse to watch 5 episodes of The Wire and then fake a really bad cough and score some liquid codeine.

Boredom is a thing of the past.

The NFL Is Releasing The Season's Schedule This Evening

From ESPN:
The NFL will officially announce the 2011 schedule on Tuesday at 7 p.m. ET.

The schedule will be released on NFL Network.

Despite the uncertain labor situation, the schedule is still being released in mid-April, as usual. However, the preseason schedule, announced on April 12, was late because of scheduling issues in Minnesota due in part to repair of the Metrodome roof that was damaged last season.

I can't tell if this is a sign of progress or not. Either way nothing gets me pumped up for football like knowing our opponent and then the draft... and then a horribly prolonged labor negation followed by a injury plagued meaningless eternal preseason. Right?

Penguins Seem Like They Might Make A Nice Pair Of Gloves

I guess I'd need two of these mini-penguins to make two gloves. I'd think that'd give them more of a custom feel.

In all seriousness though, I never can really decide if I could wear a nice pair of gloves in Texas. It definitely gets cold enough in Texas to wear gloves, but for some winters it'd only be cold enough for literally like 8 days. And you best believe I'm spending not a cent less than a bill on some gloves. Is it really worth $100 for an accessory that will only do me good for 8 days? I guess it depends on how many duels they get me into. Because trust me, starting a duel with mittens just isn't the same.

I bet starting a duel with a PETA person using baby penguin gloves would feel FANTASTIC.

Waka Flocka Wake Up

This kid doesn't know how to quit. Go ahead, play some waka flocka while he's sleeping, and see if he doesn't start throwin it down before he even wakes up. Am I a little disappointed that his twin in matching clothes didn't do the same thing? Yeah, but everyone knows there's always the shitty twin that will never live up to the awesome one. That's just the way the world works.

Asians Score A Big Fat Zero On Punching Machine Game

Looks like these two Asians just sent their people back a few hundred years. At least in fighting terms. And I know what you're thinking. Why would a fellow Asian be so mean as to invent an arcade game that would put his people as such a disadvantage? Because everyone knows all video games are made by Asians. And the truth is, I'm not really sure. I have only two solutions. 1. The game is misunderstood and you're actually supposed to roundhouse kick the fucking thing or karate chop it, or 2. This is one of a million games that are actually made and designed by non-Asians. Either way, these guys need to watch some UFC or take a boxing lesson, cause I didn't even know punches like that existed. Like I'm pretty sure a left handed girl punch would blow their scores out of the water.

Loose Ball Foul; Litteraly

"I'll grab you by the balls, I will grab you by the balls, you will know something, you will know something." Yeah the song says ears, but it works with balls better I think. And I don't even think he was grabbing his junk in an effort to get the basketball. I think he just wanted to let him know something. No homo. Ok, for sure homo.

It's Monday Monday The Day Before Tuesday

I never wasted my time talking about the Friday video, because no matter how many people talked about it, I wasn't going to give in. But the internet had to be all awesome and shit, and produce this gem of a video. "My hand is a dolphin."

Thanks to Ringler for the tip.

And did anyone else notice how the guy singing sounded like he was doing a Christopher Walken impression? Weird.

Troof.

I'm not exactly sure what this video is. Is it scripted? Reality television? I'm not exactly sure.
Either way it's fucking TROOF. I have that fry convo every fucking time I try and eat fries with the lady folk. They be stealing fries like a motherfucker.

The Most Exciting Player In The NBA Is At Home

What up Steve Porter.

Videos Like This Make Me Want To Be A Cop/Dickhead

Do I want to be a cop/pig/dickhead?
The answer:
Kinda sorta/not really.
But I can't tell you how long I have fantasized about fucking up those little chargeable cars that are boss hogging the left lane. Like, I'll get all up in their grill and they still won't move. FUCKING DICKS.
But being a cop gives one the liberty to fuck with the motherfuckers of society. Yeah.... being a cop puts you on top of a lot of people's shit list, but how many of the people who made the shit list wouldn't love to flash the slow motherfucker in the left lane. HOW MANY MOTHERFUCKERS? HOW MANY!!!
EVERY MOTHERFUCKER. DATS WHO.

GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE FAST LANE UNLESS YOU ARE GONNA DRIVE THE FUCK FAST. SIMPLE AS THAT.

Dirk Is Gonna Fuck Your Shit

Playoffs? Playoffs? We sitting here talking about practice and Dirk is being a franchise player just crushing cinnamon rolls. Think about that for a tick.

Hey Kobe, Hows That Neck Bro?

What a pussy. Lakers and Spurs lost today. If the Rangers can pull off a W, I'll go ahead and say this is about as good as Sundays get.

West Berry Block Party Was Fun...

Rolling underage youth


VS

Regal Pudman


You gotta go with rolling underage youth on this one. Pudman was a worthy opponent don't get me wrong, but this kid's moves were epic. Just begging little hard bodies to stare right at the D. Great first year for West Berry Block Party. Hopefully, this is just the start and greatness will follow year in and year out.

Haters gonna hate, rolling underage youth gonna roll.

The Rangers Are Playing Prime Time Baseball In April?

Well I'll be. I guess that is enough of an excuse to play Hedo Rick.

Get it, Hedo Rick.

Yankees Are About To Get Bent Over