Wednesday, April 8, 2009

eye candy.

so my boyfriend told me that i don't write about anything "interesting"
and it was time to step it up a notch
and write about real things like politics, music & sports.

oh, i'll give you sports.
i've composed a list of the top 5 eye candy 
among professional athletes.
believe me... it was NOT easy
narrowing it down to the lucky five contenders.
i decided to find one from each sport and while doing that i noticed that
basketball has WAY too many good looking men,
like seriously how do we even focus on the game?

at least with football & hockey they cover up their sex appeal
with helmets so you don't manage to forget what you're actually watching.

as far as baseball goes for me. the game is so slow that there is one pre-requisite
to get my attention: you must have a rockin' ass.
that's what the baseball pants are made for, obviously.

also, there are not that many hockey players that are easy on the eyes.
i need to get in touch with the NHL and tell them to start recruiting some "talent"
from Ford/NY Models.

they want lady fans too right?

anyways, back to the list.

#1: its actually a tie...
alex rodriguez & derek jeter
i tried my very best but could not choose between the two
although i have been loyal to derek since the day i laid my eyes on him
back in like 2nd grade.
my best friend samantha's aunt was dating him and i wanted to kill her.
then they broke up and he moved on to mariah scary.
and alex alex alex
i didn't discover you until much later
at the mariners/yankee game.
it was lust at first site.
you make the most money in the game, your eyes are piercingly sexy and just for those 
reasons alone i will forgive you for the madonna sugar-mama situation.
honestly though, who wouldn't mine "hitting a home run" with these two? yum.
#2: tom baby, oops... i mean brady
seriously i hate that they cover your face with a helmet
so much gorgeousness should never be covered up.
he just seems like such a sweetheart.
he is a total D.I.L.F.
yeah, i said it.
ironically he is married to one of the most gorgeous women in the world
and one day these are going to procreate and have
little baby bombshells.
meanwhile, ill enjoy watching you're rockin' body in those football
pads & pants.
gjfhgkjfdhgfdkjghfg i love football season.
#3: raja bell
another real shocker.
i obviously was not the first to notice his insane hotness.
not only is he an NBA guard, but he has a "side job" of being a Ford Model
he's also rocked the pages of GQ
and has the prettiest face i've ever seen on a man.
seriously smack some makeup on him and he would make a beautiful woman
(probably better looking than his wife cindy :x)
sorry, had to say it.
#4: david (GOD%&$#*DAMN) beckham
like seriously when i first heard him talk i was floored like
is it even ethical to be that disgustingly good-looking
and then on top of everything else have a british accent?
you & victoria keep doing work in the baby-makin' department
because those kids are gonna grow up to break hearts.

really though...
for the sake of giving numerous ladies around the world
heart attacks
keep your shirt on.

(i didn't mean that.)
#5 mike fisher
last, but certainly not least
is this sexy canadian hockey player.
carrie underwood discovered this sex machine not too long ago
what's up with all these down-low gorgeous dudes?
maybe im gonna have to make me a trip to canada sometime soon,
so THATS where they've been keeping all the hot men at!
haha go carrie!

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